Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life
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It's not a new idea that men tend to express their anger differently than women do. Years of research have shown that men-for many different and complex reasons-are often more violent and less willing to confront and deal with their emotions than women. Now Beyond Anger shows the angry-and miserable-man how to change his life and relationships for the better.
Dr. Thomas J. Harbin helps men understand their anger by explaining what the specific symptoms of chronic anger are and by showing angry men how their actions negatively affect family, friends and co-workers. He offers simple exercises-developed especially for men-that will help men to control their violent feelings, identify when and why they get angry, and to form new habits to prevent anger before it starts. Women, too, will learn essential strategies for understanding and helping the angry men in their lives.
Beyond Anger is: * Honest. Thomas J. Harbin has had to come to terms with his own anger problems, so he understands exactly what angry men are going through.
* Tough. The book doesn't let anyone off the hook. It demands that angry men learn to take charge, stop making excuses, and get their anger under control.
* Real. The book includes the stories of angry men who have learned to recognize their problems and use the book's techniques successfully.
Free of fancy doctor talk and complicated theories, Beyond Anger talks to men in everyday language and provides a wealth of important resources. It is an invaluable guide for the many men struggling to come to terms with their inner battles and to take positive action, and for everyone who has an angry man in their life.
DESCRIPTION:
Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 152.47081
EAN: 9781569246214
ISBN: 1569246211
Label: Da Capo Press
Manufacturer: Da Capo Press
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 240
Publication Date: 2000-03-26
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Studio: Da Capo Press
ACCESSORIES:
• Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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CUSTOMER REVIEWS:
Customer Rating:
Summary: Men Need This (Written By A Man), Women Should Read, Too
Comment: This therapist (a phD) was counseling angry men, when his wife gave him an ultimatim because he was an "angry man". He no longer is & has a great marriage, after lots of work. So, he wrote this book from his own experiences & his patient's & it is a great tool for a man that is TRULY looking to change the way his outlook on life is. I bought it to understand my husband better & he ended up wanting his own copy to work with. It's the only one out there, from this unique perspective. I highly recommend it.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Very Pleased
Comment: I was very pleased with the promp shipping I receied on this item. So far I am finding the book to be very helpful in day to day life. Thanks Amazon!
Customer Rating:
Summary: Great read - especially if you don't feel you REALLY have an anger problem
Comment: To give you some background -- the only reason I even began looking for an anger management book was to get my spouse to quit bugging me about occasionally losing my temper. I NEVER became physically aggressive with her or anyone else for that matter, but even I had to admit I got in my fair share of verbal arguments with people and lost my cool more times than I wanted to (even though a lot of times I felt I was provoked). In addition to the nagging from the spouse, I still felt that other people handled similar situations better than I did, so I felt it couldn't hurt to read a book on anger management. The reason I picked this book in particular was because it was written by a man who had an anger issue, so I felt like I was picking up knowledge from someone who at least had a chance of understanding what life as a man was like and who wouldn't write in a way that I felt judged me. Also, the reviews here on Amazon described some situations similar than mine so I felt it might be a worthwhile read. Let me tell you, it was more than a worthwhile read -- this book provided life changing perspective. Again, let me go back to the fact that I never felt I had an anger issue -- in a worst case scenario I felt I was a guy who was at times uptight, and many times misunderstood.
Reading through this book, for the first time in my life I felt I was understood, and I felt this book helped me understand myself. There were things the author talked about in the book which I would have never in my wildest dreams associated with having an anger issue (ie Feeling guilty when you're not productive and busy 100% of your waking hours), and things I felt which just had to do with a natural tendency to be a little uptight (ie walking through life feeling you're like always at "war" with your guard up) ... but here I was, reading a book on anger management, and page by page I felt I was reading about me.
One of the most valuable chapters for me was on "mind reading" -- that is, assuming what other people are thinking about you and / or things that you have done, and letting it piss you off to no end. Before I read this book I had no idea how often I was "mind reading" -- now, I catch myself doing it, I stop myself from "mind reading" and its unbelievable how many FEWER arguments I get in and how much happier I am.
Just perspective alone on some of my daily life issues put me very much at ease with myself. I wasn't an uptight / anti-social guy ... I was a person who never learned a healthy way to vent or release normal levels of anger which one experiences just living life. Do I still occasionally blow my top or get pissed off? Sure, once in a rare while -- but nowhere near what I used to, and with nowhere near the venom of my pre-Beyond Anger outbursts. More than anything else the understanding of myself that this book provided really has increased the amount of happiness in my life exponentially. I had happy moments before I read this book, but I'm not sure I would have ever described myself as a generally happy person ... but after reading this book I have to say, I am happy and the people around me are happy.
Even if you don't think you have an anger issue, but you feel you probably get in more arguments with people than you would like or you don't describe yourself as a generally happy person -- for you, I highly recommend this book and I hope you get as much out of it as I did. This book was truly life changing for me.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Fatally Flawed
Comment: A book like this that never mentions suicide, a major cause of death among men (see the webpages on suicide of the CDC), is fatally flawed and casts doubt on the author's qualifications.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The anger test
Comment: I'm comparing this to another book:Anger: How to Live with and Without It. This book with the "test" takes a more rational approach to anger and how you can deal with it.
Anger is usually not your fault:
blame is a game that is self-destructive
since most of the time anger hits people without warning
and just messes them up and their lives.
What are your "triggers"?
What has caused you to becomes less stable
in your dealings with people?
I think maybe the sincere desire not to act on your anger
may be the best defense?
Anyway this book helps and talks about the problem in terms that are useful.
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