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Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood

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Manufacturer: Owl Books
List Price: $17.00
Our Price: $2.73
You Save: $ 14.27 ( 84% )
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Featuring a new preface by the author on how parents can make a difference.

With author appearances on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20 /20 and NPR's Fresh Air, and featuring articles in Newsweek, Time, and The New York Times, Real Boys is one of the most talked-about and influential books published this year.

Based on William Pollack's groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School over two decades, Real Boys explores why many boys are sad, lonely, and confused although they may appear tough, cheerful, and confident. Pollack challenges conventional expectations about manhood and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys as little men, raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground. Only when we understand what boys are really like, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.



DESCRIPTION:

Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 305.23
EAN: 9780805061833
ISBN: 0805061835
Label: Owl Books
Manufacturer: Owl Books
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 476
Publication Date: 1999-04
Publisher: Owl Books
Studio: Owl Books


ACCESSORIES:

• Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
• Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers


SIMILAR ITEMS:

• Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
• Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
• Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages
• Real Boys' Voices
• Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different - and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men


CUSTOMER REVIEWS:

Customer Rating:
Summary: Myths of Boyhood
Comment: I saw Dr. William Pollack on a television interview and he was so interesting. I ordered his book tape on "Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood". It was not that interesting. His straight reading of this very interesting topic did not hold my attention.

Customer Rating:
Summary: For all men and women in the modern America
Comment: This book provides great insight and liberation from guilt and inner conflict. Everybody should read it-mothers and wives, sons and husbands. It will definitely help with marriage issues.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
Comment: I needed this book 20 years ago for my oldest son whom may be lost to me forever. William

Customer Rating:
Summary: Very informative book
Comment: Really made me think about the differences in boys and girls. Very informative. Bought one to be passed around among my teacher friends.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Not Just About Boys
Comment: As the sister of six brothers and the mother of two boys, I found myself agreeing with the author on many fronts.

What the author calls "The Boy Code" is what Steven Covey would probably call using efficiency rather than effectiveness as a goal in raising males. The problem is that efficiency leaves the boy with a limited arsenal when it comes to understanding and taking responsibility for his own emotional life. It certainly leaves the boy with limited resources when it comes to understanding or helping others who are wrestling with problems in their own inner life. The lie of "The Boy Code" is that recognizing one's own "negative" emotions is a self-indulgence that simply makes a person weak, a weakness that is permissible in famales, but not in males. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We don't do our boys any favors by teaching them to ignore their own emotions. We also do them a disservice if we let the expectations learned from females dictate what kind of emotional life we expect of males. I know men who live by what this book is espousing. They aren't "wimps", as some reviewers have implied that boys raised in this way will be. They are adults who understand their own emotions well enough to not be unknowingly ruled by them. They know when they are angry, they can admit when they feel fear, and they know how to choose to act under those circumstances, rather than simply reacting, which is what people who refuse to acknowledge their own inner life tend to do. They are certainly not men who expect themselves to experience emotion in the same way as their wives or other women in their lives do, nor do they feel some authority to dictate emotional taboos to other men. They process their emotions in their own ways, they let others do the same, and they don't apologize for it.

I wouldn't, however, limit the observations in this book to boys. There are women and girls who, for whatever reason, have learned to live by what the author calls "The Boy Code." There are men who don't process their emotions as this book implies that men raised in earlier decades will. For that reason, I would caution that the reader not presume after reading this book that he or she now "understands men." The book gives tools for understanding others and helping them to understand themselves, and points out some ineffective but "efficient" ways that people often use in dealing with strong emotion. Knowing these common human patterns isn't a substitute for paying attention to the actions and emotional style of the person you're actually dealing with.

The reviewers who complain that the book takes a great many pages to repeat the same story over and over have a point. A reader who does not want or need so many examples to get the author's point won't lose much by simply skimming the book after the first 100-200 pages or so.

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