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Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Intelligence That Comes from the Heart

Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to:

* Be aware of a child's emotions
* Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
* Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings
* Label emotions in words a child can understand
* Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation

Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.


DESCRIPTION:

Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 649
EAN: 9780684838656
ISBN: 0684838656
Label: Simon & Schuster
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 240
Publication Date: 1998-08-12
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Studio: Simon & Schuster


ACCESSORIES:

• Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
• Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
• Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last


SIMILAR ITEMS:

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
• Parenting From the Inside Out
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
• The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
• Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ


CUSTOMER REVIEWS:

Customer Rating:
Summary: Different flavour than Gottman's marriage books
Comment: I got this book because I admire Gottman's marriage books, especially the idea that different people express themselves in different ways, and not all couples have to sit down and have "meaningful" heart to hearts to get along.

Unfortunately, this book leans the direction of only one way of doing it right. Those of us at the ends of bell curve that were so delighted to see how two similar grownups could have a good life together even if it didn't fit the TV world of everyone talking everything over, get left out of this book. If people do grow up to have normal but avoidant marriage styles, why can't that style carry over to parenting? Especially if your child is so like you, the two of you sometimes, in a tricky situation, just look at each other and nod.

Also, I found the assessment questions more black-and-white than in the marriage books. I wanted to answer "sometimes" to far too many. (E.g. "it is a good thing to express emotion"...this depends entirely on the situation!)

Customer Rating:
Summary: A Must-Read for all Parents, Grandparents and Childcare
Comment: Emotional Intelligence, EQ, has a lot of great resources, such as the classics by Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ and his workbooks, as well as a wealth of great studies by Harvard Business, MIT, McKinsey and Wharton, but this book takes a wonderful look at how to raise your child as an "emotional coach". Negative emotions are a fact of life, and how we use these emotional moments is an opportunity to teach important life lessons and build closer relationships with our child.

Beginning immediately in Chapter 1 on page 24, you find the these key responses for successful parent-child interactions and the building of emotional intelligence: 1. Become aware of the child's emotion, 2. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching, 3. Listen empathetically, validating the child's feelings, 4. Help the child find words to label the emotion he is having, and 5. Set limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand.

Chapter 2 provides a quiz to assess your parenting style, as well as identifying and explaining the four types of parenting. Chapter 3 examines the 5 steps above and goes into greater (much-needed) detail and provides quizzes on emotions, such as anger and sadness. It provides a list of 20 emotions and this quote helps you to gain insight on this chapter, "Kids often express their emotions indirectly and in ways that adults find puzzling. (not you, of course) If we listen carefully with open hearts, however, we can often de-code messages children unconsciously hide in their interactions, their play, their everyday behavior." Listening and identifying the problems and possible solutions that are based on your family values help your child to identify and choose their solution.

Chapter 4 covers emotion-coaching strategies, such as scaffolding of praise, being aware of your own agenda and how that can effect your child-parent relationship when it comes into play, and how to empower your child. It is also filled with many other strategies and ideas that are insightful and helpful. This is where you can learn the ins-and-pouts :) of how to interact. A couple of other resources in this area of the chapter (there are so many) are The Leader in Me: How Schools and Parents Around the World Are Inspiring Greatness, One Child At a Time and the list in the back of the book of over 40 children's books to read together at different stages, identifying emotions together, might be something to look at.

Chapter 5 deals with marriage, divorce, and your child's emotional health. I, myself, am re-married and am always trying to seek to do the best for our child and keep what is in his best interest at the forefront of my mind. Naturally, as we are both re-married and all have our perspectives, it can be a challenge at times, and a true gift to work together. This chapter can help in this area. I'd also suggest taking a look at Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child, Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation and Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life for more resources in this area.

In the next chapter, Chapter 6, the Father's Crucial Role, it has truly helped me in the understanding of why making sure that everyone is involved (to what extent is different for everyone) is so important, from the parents to the new bonus-parents. Fathers in both roles are incredibly important, as are their level of involvement. For both boys and girls, it describes what fathers can do in practical terms and how to strike a balance between your work life and home life... something we all can stand to work on at times.

Chapter 7 teaches you how to be an emotional coach as your child grows up. If you are giving this to a grandparent, childcare worker, or even another parent, be sure they read this helpful last chapter. Going through each of the stages of development (similar to the sociological stages of Piaget, Erikson and Mead- you can find them under sociology and psychology classics), Gottman identifies the most ideal ways to interact. From birth to adulthood, you never stop being a parent... helping your child to be emotionally intelligent is incredibly helpful (and some might say critical) to their development and success in life.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Very Helpful
Comment: Excellent resource for parents - quick read.
Would like to have had more specific conversation examples for very young children (my youngest is 3) however am already noticing a positive change in my children's behavior as a result of using book's tactics.

Customer Rating:
Summary: The Go-To Mom Gives "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" 5 Gold Stars
Comment: John Gottman produces the most insightful and inspiring books I have ever read. All his work is well worth the investment. Every parent should own a copy of this book and refer to it on a regular basis. There would be less violence, suicide, depression and school drop out if children where raised by parents who had more empathy and understanding of the important role that emotions play in early childhood. Buy this book and hold it close, it may change your life. Other books that you may find helpful are: Kids-Parents and Power Struggles, How To Talk So Kids Can Listen, Got the Baby Where's the Manual, Between Parent and Child,and Undconditional Parenting.


Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
Licensed Child Therapist
founder, www.TheGoToMom.TV
Author: Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation, and Your Inner Diva

Customer Rating:
Summary: Great
Comment: Great book. A must read for every parent. One of the best parenting books out there.

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