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Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic

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Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
List Price: $14.99
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Newly revised, featuring the most up-to-date research, effective strategies, and real-life stories

The spirited child—often called "difficult" or "strong-willed"—possesses traits we value in adults yet find challenging in children. Research shows that spirited kids are wired to be "more"—by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this revised edition of the award-winning classic, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, Kurcinka provides vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint. Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:

• understand your child's­—and your own—temperamental traits
• discover the power of positive—rather than negative—labels
• cope with the tantrums and power struggles when they do occur
• plan for success with a simple four-step program
• develop strategies for handling mealtimes, sibling rivalry, bedtimes, holidays, and school, among other situations

DESCRIPTION:

Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 649.1
EAN: 9780060739669
ISBN: 0060739665
Label: Harper Paperbacks
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 496
Publication Date: 2006-12-01
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Release Date: 2006-11-28
Studio: Harper Paperbacks


SIMILAR ITEMS:

• Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook
• Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
• Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime
• 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic)


CUSTOMER REVIEWS:

Customer Rating:
Summary: Excellent book!
Comment: I needed some guidance for my "spirited" toddler because the other toddler books out there did not apply to my little guy. This book is written in a humorous, loving fashion and it's great to know other Mom's out there have spirited children. Her approach is gentle and thoughtful. I highly recommend this book to any parent who needs some advice on the ups and downs of raising a child who is "more"!

Customer Rating:
Summary: A good read that relates to Sensory Processing Disorder
Comment: I've said it before and I'll say it again, this book is simply the best. It does not use the term Sensory Processing Disorder but every single word will apply. It may very well become your lifeline.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Worth Reading, but Ultimately Disappointing
Comment: Like many of the parent-reviewers here, finding this book filled me with joy. Finally, a parenting book that addresses the unique nature of my intense child! Since the day my son was born, I've been battling criticisms, from my family and even from myself, that I "made" him "high-maintenance" by simply not being firm enough. But reality is a lot more complicated than that; the discipline techniques that other parents use just seem to go right over my son's head, and we both end up tearful and overwhelmed.

So in some ways, this book has been a revelation. There are children out there like mine, and there are effective ways to parent them! Huzzah! That feeling alone makes the book more than worth the purchase price.

However, I think "Understanding Your Spirited Child" would be a far better title for this volume than "Raising Your Spirited Child." Because Kurcinka does write a great deal about how your child feels and why he acts as he does - she gives you a great understanding of his perspective and his emotional needs - but she doesn't give you many specific steps to take. And much of the advice she does give is cloaked in anecdote. Which is fun to read, but hard to use in order to take action. When you can't apply the anecdote exactly to your child (which is often the case, especially if the child in the anecdote is much older or younger than your child is) then you're kind of left empty-handed. I can't tell you how many times I thought, while reading this book, "Okay, I know now that my child is intense and that he is responding this way because he is overloaded. But what do I actually DO about it?"

And speaking of age, I think parents would be greatly served by either dividing the contents of this book up by age level, or having an entirely separate books for toddlers and teenagers. Kurcinka's many anecdotes literally run the gamut from infancy to young adulthood and they are blended together without hesitation. I think the book really suffers from the curse of trying to please everyone at once.

Like I said, "Raising Your Spirited Child" is a joy in many ways, especially if it feels like your child is somehow out of sync with everyone else's kids and you haven't found much sympathy out there in the world. Kurcinka knows how you feel and she is a wonderful voice of empathy and understanding. But, don't expect a step-by-step guide to handling your daily parenting woes.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Life Saver!!!!!
Comment: This book was a complete life saver! I have a 3 1/2 year old and really needed someone to tell me that what I knew about my son was valid and things just were different for him. I even emailed the author to thank her (and she emailed back)! Here is my letter to her to help those considering buying this book understand how wonderful it is for a parent of a spirited child:

For the longest time, practically since he was born, I felt like a failure as a mother. It wasn't until I read your spirited child book did I FINALLY feel like someone understood. When I began your book, I spend days crying as I read it, describing everything to my husband, mother, and best friend. It was unbelieveable that someone explained my child but made me see him in a completely different light. If you could see my book, you would see that I practically have every other page earmarked. I plan to read it a second time and highlight again what is most helpful. I truly consider it my parenting Bible.

While reading your book, I finally felt that I wasn't such an evil mother. In fact, it felt so wonderful to hear that it was understandable that I, a spirited adult (and child too), would react in a particular manner. For the first time, I don't feel so much anger or embarrassment for my son's spirited behavior. While I knew he had so much of my personality and while I knew there were so many good qualities about him, it was difficult to not get upset when he just wasn't like the children of any of my friends or those at his preschool. And, while I was a spirited child, I didn't react as strongly as my son does now, at least not in public and not until I was older, where I could control my emotions a bit more. This was another reason I had a hard time understanding my son and being patient, despite my efforts at trying. It got to a point where I felt that my fuse was extremely short and I was only doing harm to my relationship with my son(not physical but there were times I felt I was just getting so upset with him, especially when his tantrums were out of this world.)

Now though, while there are some days where I still get extremely frustrated and upset, I feel proud to have a spirited child. I have learned to create a 'yes' environment and this has helped our situation tremendously. I am proud to have a sensitive, determined, and persistent child. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my family and my relationship with my son. I truly am forever indebted to you.


Customer Rating:
Summary: Temperaments
Comment: It's odd how readily we recognize the innate temperaments of dogs yet refuse to recognize such temperaments in our children. This book helped me to see that my children may be inclined to do certain things not because I have somehow ruined them, but simply because of their natural, individual personalities. Recognizing their natural tendencies has helped me to respond graciously to them.

My four-year-old recently started stealing puzzle pieces and other random stuff from our playgroup. I thought about why he might be doing such a thing and realized that he has a really hard time with transitions--moving from one activity to the next--and by bringing a toy from one activity to the next he is attempting to soften the blow of having to switch before he's ready to. I had him return the toys and the next time we went to playgroup I had him bring one of his own toys from home. When it was time to leave, I let him focus on getting his stuffed animal ready to go. It worked very well.

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